Originally Posted by cylon
She's the girl. It's her job to write you notes like that. It's your job to just be a cool guy and bring that sort of thing out of HER. Buy her a cute little trinket and don't say that sort of thing until she says it first.
You're not leaving much to the imagination. You're better off if she is wondering about how you feel about her. Actions over words. SHOW her by your actions that you like being with her.
I disagree, my approach with women has never faltered in the past. I don't like all this new-age "how to attract women" rubbish. And I certainly don't like the concept of "it's your job just to be a cool guy and bring that sort of thing out of HER." That's a selfish, one-way approach in my opinion. Love is surely as much about giving as receiving.
I don't care if it turns her off to me because it isn't "attractive" or whatever. That's not the point. I want to give her something that really makes her feel great about herself. Something that makes her feel special.
Even if it ends with "I just want to be friends;" that's okay.
To tell someone you are close to that you love them for who they are, I would have thought, is an act of great feel-goodery for both, as long as it is expressed correctly (which is the most important thing of all, and which is why I posted it up here first). It just feels like a great thing to give, so why shouldn't it be an equally great thing to receive?
I'd like to say thanks (so much) for all the advice in this thread. I've read every last word in here over and over again, for and against, and whilst I'm still in two minds, I now have a clear picture of the potential outcomes of this; and that is massively important to me. Rose of Cairo
, your post in particular was absolutely wonderful.
I'm working 12-8 today (by the British clock!) so when I get in I'll try to make amendments to what I've written based on what I've read. I'll maybe post up a bit of backstory too if I get time, just to make things a bit clearer. The truth is that I don't know, yet, whether I'll go ahead with this. I'll follow my instincts, and I'll make a choice. I don't believe in the concept of right choice/wrong choice, just the choice I make and the choice I don't make. And whichever choice I do make, I just hope that it makes her feel great, and with a bit of luck, that it may even bring me a little closer to her.