Quote:
Originally Posted by RichGrad  Bliss, Shyness is a form of self-defense. We are afraid of getting hurt so our mind protects us by activating "social anxiety". I guess we'll never know what will happen if we were less shy. We can speculate but we won't know for sure...
I'm not saying that shyness is always bad. Some people are attracted to shyness actually. =) I'm just wondering out loud because the movie I mentioned about (Adaptation) really made me think... |
I am a great deal less shy than I used to be, as a matter of necessity from traveling extensively and living for years and years having to take care of myself, by myself, in countries where English wasn't spoken. I can tell you, I was scared inside myself to speak in English, my own language, when I lived in North America, but after years of being forced to speak out and ask for help in so many other places and languages, I became homesick to speak English and I still am - to be able to speak freely and naturally without the hinderances of worrying about my pronunciation, grammar, not finding vocubulary... Now when I go back to North America, in the right circumstances, I could potentially become a chatter-box (as a U.S. customs worker in Newark knows and a guy at a bookstore in Rideau Centre in Ottawa also knows - well, I was starved for linguistically uninhibited social interaction, so...)
But I want to point out, there is a difference between shyness and introversion. Much of the time I like to keep to myself and I don't have anything to say. It's not necessarily because I am shy or afraid to talk, but I just don't have anything to say, and often times something I deem useless or unimportant will pop into my head during a conversation and I conclude it is just more trouble and effort to say than it is worth.
Anyway, Rich, everyone has different forms of self-defence. People have personality facades, others may be incapable of ever saying anything serious, just one "joke" after another. Some people don't stop talking...I quite like that I am quiet and calm in front of others. I like to watch and observe people and I learn a lot about them and they have no clue I'm even there. ...
.
Maybe it is worse to be shy as a man, due to how society is. I reckon even in this day and age, it is more socially acceptable to be a shy girl. But I did have a hard time growing up due to my shyness and almost my entire social life existed in an enormous and vast collection of penpals I had across the world (pre-computer, pre-Internet era, thank God). And to this day, making friends is painfully difficult for me - even though I don't feel shy really - but I need to get to talk with just one other person, not a group, or more than one.
Anyway, shyness can be undone to a great extent, if you put yourself in drastic situations, by yourself, like I did...and continue to do.