Hello everyone, this is my first post.
All the support and positive feedback on this site is incredible and I would greatly appreciate some advice on a personal situation. Am I blind to a reality or am I just overreacting? I can't distinguish between the two extremes.
I've had my boyfriend for about 7-8 months now (it was never official, but he eventually began calling me his girlfriend...) and I'm torn between an array of suspicions and paranoia. I'm not sure if I'm just the generic jealous girlfriend or if I'm letting too much slide by. Advice is greatly appreciated. So here goes...
A year ago I had a boyfriend but discovered we didn't have much in common. I ended our relationship as best I could and explained my reasoning. He naturally felt horrible and wanted to continue it but I knew we were much too different on a grand scale. Naturally, he was probably hurting the most, but I also felt a harsh tugging inside. Break ups hurt both individuals.
Not even a week later, he asks my best friend out. This caught me off-guard as I had to find out on my own a month later. Not only did this sting, but it takes two tango. I never thought anything of their interactions because she was afterall my best friend and the other, my boyfriend. In my experience, most guys will only ask a girl out if he thinks he has atleast a 90% chance of a yes. This bestfriend and ex boyfriend situation made me uneasy. What sort of connections were going on during my past relationship? And why did my bestfriend felt she needed to keep this important fact on the down low? Is this normal?
Eventually I kept catching this "bestfriend" in many lies where I no longer wished to speak to her and told her so.
Letting all that go, a few months later I became interested in another guy. So I did the whole "give-you-all-of-my-attention thing" and things seemed to be going great. Then along came the spider. This ex-best friend of mine began flirting with my new love interest. I even called her out on it and she denied everything; she ended the conversation by calling me a jealous B.
Well, I trugged along and eventually this love interest became my boyfriend. But I messed up, the spider now knew my weak spot. She wouldnt stay away from him.
Presently, she's still around and has weaved her way into my current boyfriends family. She's now dating my boyfriends younger sister.
My boyfriend and her text message constantly, hug, and he even offers her his coat.
Of course they're going to be close now, she's always around because of her relationship with his younger sister.
I don't know what to do. If I point out to him of my ex-best friends past actions, I'll probably be deemed a jealous female dog; afterall, what's wrong with text messaging and offerings of outer attire, right? That a host of small other incidents spark my suspiscion.
I'm a hardcore loyalist, I do nothing to spark his suspiscion, I wouldn't even consider it. I don't hug other guys or come remotely close to flirting with them. I have a boyfriend.
Can my guy be considered emotionally cheating? Does that even count? I don't know what to do, it seems no matter how hard I try, this revengeful ex-best friend weaves her way back into my life.
1. Can my boyfriend "emotionally" cheat on me? Does that count?
2. Should I break up with him? Do things seem sketchy? and if so, how do I not come off as a jealous B?
3. Am I over reacting? or do I deserve better?
4. And how do I get this ex-bestfriend out of my life for good? She poisons everything she touches.
Much thanks, every reply is greatly appreciated.
WhteRabbit