My friend I know how you feel...
I guess I'd say I'm in a similar situation. I want to be in a loving relationship but have low self-esteem and find it hard to make friends with new ppl. That really knocks around my intentional focus.
I've not had much success with manifesting, not enough self-belief yet. However, as I see it ur desire needs to be strong and focused. I've spent a lot of time trying to decide what I really want too, it's not easy.
In some of the occult study I've done it's said that all anyone really wants is to truly be themselves, all the time. Have you considered intending purely for your highest good? It sounds a bit cheesy sure... But it may work at a higher level, covering all areas of your life, maybe bringing some clarity
Thanks for the question mate, you've brought me a bit of clarity thru the process.
Connect with the Most High and let the blessings fly!