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Originally Posted by Bliss Sage  For that analogy to apply, both parties have to have this same understanding. I don't like to think of these things as products or of the things that make me who I am, or that make him who he is, as products. It feels bad, especially if he "buys" the product, uses it for a day and then either returns it, breaks it or throws it in the garbage. |
I love Slamhot's legs. I think they're the hottest, sexiest legs I've ever seen. If they fell off tomorrow, it wouldn't change my immense attraction to him. The fact that I love legs and he has the best pair in the world is just a bonus.
The emotional qualities... If he stopped being the sweetest boy on earth, stopped being the gentle human I love so much who talks baby talk to the cats and has an outrageous dadaistic sense of humor, yeah, we'd have to renegotiate some stuff.
Your qualities ARE what you offer a partner, but you cannot be broken. And part of love is running a risk. Sorry, toots.
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Originally Posted by Bliss Sage hmm...I don't have any - and attempted friendships with men...suffice it to say the last incident happened with "a friend". |
Make more friends!
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Originally Posted by Bliss Sage I do want to, that's the problem. It was easy when I didn't want to, or thought I didn't. The problem is that this desire has created a conflict in me. It is a threat to my emotional stability, which is always on shaky ground as it is.
And I don't want a man who isn't very interested in sex. On the contrary. That I have waited so long does not mean I don't want to do it or that I wouldn't do it ... 5 times a day if the circumstances were right. The circumstances have never been right.
I guess it's fear... |
Because he might not love you even if you have sex. Sex and love can be paired, but they're not the same. Take a look at what you want. Date. Find a person who wants the same thing. It's all trial and error.