You said you wanted to be a teacher but couldn't do it anymore. If, like mentioned above, you still see it as a passion in life but "technicalities" or other issues stop you from doing that (i.e financial), try to think about it a different way. What is a teacher? You're seeing a teacher in the typical mindset, a person who helps students learn in a physical building in a physical location. But I ask you...is Steve Pavlina not a teacher? Does he not get the means to support himself from teaching?
Don't get stuck on one alternative. If somethign doesnt' work over and over, switch to something else and try that for a while.
I won't pretend to sit here and understand what you're going through because I've never been there. Sure I did have my low moments and even short temporary periods of depression but never like this. All I want to do is just feed you another idea, because hopefully something here will provoke you to change and "snap out of it".
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