[Bliss Sage]

Originally Posted by NotesMaeve

YOU are not the product. SEX is a product, which can be made made, bought, and sold by people, much like soap! And the "products" you bring to a relationship, those valuable things that are bought and sold every day - humor, good looks, sex, brains, brawn, kindness - are important. You pick out the valuable qualities that really matter and you go looking for those. In that sense, it's a bit like a purchase.

For that analogy to apply, both parties have to have this same understanding. I don't like to think of these things as products or of the things that make me who I am, or that make him who he is, as products. It feels bad, especially if he "buys" the product, uses it for a day and then either returns it, breaks it or throws it in the garbage.

So guys want to have sex with you. Guys want to have sex. So do women!

That latter point is something I'm trying to come to terms with - like I said earlier, the most recent experience I had changed me, and I wanted the guy to keep going ... and I thought about the incident for days, even more than a week afterwards.

I wouldn't want a partner who doesn't want sex and lots of it with me within the first month. That's a friendship. I have lots of those.

hmm...I don't have any - and attempted friendships with men...suffice it to say the last incident happened with "a friend".

You don't have to have sex if you don't want to, honey.

I do want to, that's the problem. It was easy when I didn't want to, or thought I didn't. The problem is that this desire has created a conflict in me. It is a threat to my emotional stability, which is always on shaky ground as it is.

Lots of men don't put a super high priority on sex and I'm positive there's a good lot of loving men that aren't that into sex.

And I don't want a man who isn't very interested in sex. On the contrary. That I have waited so long does not mean I don't want to do it or that I wouldn't do it ... 5 times a day if the circumstances were right. The circumstances have never been right.

But choose to have sex, or not, because YOU don't want to. Don't be ruled by fear.

I guess it's fear...