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Originally Posted by Bliss Sage  This is another reason I have waited so long. I absolutely hate this thinking. I hate comparing myself or someone I love to a product. I hate the "test-drive the car before I buy it" and "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" analogies too. I am not a thing or a piece of meat. |
YOU are not the product. SEX is a product, which can be made made, bought, and sold by people, much like soap! And the "products" you bring to a relationship, those valuable things that are bought and sold every day - humor, good looks, sex, brains, brawn, kindness - are important. You pick out the valuable qualities that really matter and you go looking for those. In that sense, it's a bit like a purchase.
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Originally Posted by Bliss Sage How can someone with limited or no experience in bed (meaning someone like me) judge the "bed skills" of someone else? |
Do you feel loved, appreciated, and totally connected at the end of sex with the person? Failing that, count the number of orgasms you had.
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Originally Posted by Bliss Sage But the point is, would he ever have given you the time of day if you had wanted to wait until you were married before having sex with him? Or if you wanted to wait a long time? I have been passed over by men on more than one occasion because I wouldn't "put out." How do you think that makes me feel? And how should I think about those men then? I think they are looking for prostitutes who don't charge them any money and they want to turn me into one of their prostitutes. |
I can't imagine this crazy world where I don't want to jump Slamhot Boy's bones. Seriously. Our relationship, the romantic one, started on the basis of an amazing sexual connection.
So guys want to have sex with you. Guys want to have sex. So do women! And you imply getting paid for sex is a bad thing.
I wouldn't want a partner who doesn't want sex and lots of it with me within the first month. That's a friendship. I have lots of those.
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Originally Posted by Bliss Sage The best solution I can conceive of right now is to get rid of this fear I have and try to be like a "normal" person, be able to have sex with him and be happy and emotionally stable, even after he leaves. At least I can choose who will be my first, even if he won't stay with me...  |
You don't have to have sex if you don't want to, honey. Lots of men don't put a super high priority on sex and I'm positive there's a good lot of loving men that aren't that into sex. But choose to have sex, or not, because YOU don't want to. Don't be ruled by fear.
Women who enjoy sex outside of marriage are just as good as the ones that do. My God, if amount of sex outside of marriage meant I was a good or bad person, I'd be Osama bin Laden.
Your choice says nothing about you as a person.