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Originally Posted by TheFlyingMan  Hey guys,
I been reading a lot into self esteem, more for myself, you can never have enough! But I noticed a lot of things in my recent partner - a lot of crazy fights that were started for no reason.
What would you guys recommend? If you really like some one but they have Low Self Esteem (LSE) would you still go for it? Is a relationship with a LSE person a good chance to develop yourself - like spirituality, unconditional love, controlling your temper, and so on? Or is it doomed to failure - and hence just avoid if you can?
If you do stay, any tips?
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From what I read about LSE, LSE people will unconsciously sabotage their relationships. They don't feel themselves worthy of someone who treats them right, so they will always do certain things to drive the other person away - they feel that they only deserve people who look down on them. If someone manages to convince a LSE partner that they have unconditional love, then the LSE person will start thinking he/she is better then the unconditionally loving partner, and dump the poor person! And continue in a search for someone who does look down on them!
And also, their ego is totally afraid of annihilation - by being wrong for example. So they would rather destroy the relationship then admit that they are wrong, for their ego cannot take the "blow" of admitting they are wrong. |
Imo, all that matters is whether you think you will be happy and/or content regardless of your mate's self-esteem issues. if she's going to bring you down then you (and she) need to find a way to counter or fix her issues, or it probably wont work. therapy might be an option. be wary of positive encouragement, its worth a shot, but sometimes it has negative effects.
my girlfriend is very insecure. i'm pretty decent at giving advice, but of course of course it's the curse of the advisor that nobody listens. for her i encourage a hobby in the arts- who was it?.. i believe it was Epicurus who said "seek pleasures of the mind that are infinite" Epicurus was a philosopher who was around just after Aristotle. he encouraged people to take pleasure in life; to help become happy and fulfilled.
well, i belive it anyway... it worked for me, writing and playing the guitar enlighten me like no other. the problem is trying to get someone else to do it, or come out with what they truly enjoy. many people can't look far enough into their soul to find what they really enjoy, though more commonly people just don't listen to what their soul tells them to do.