[Rose of Cairo]

Wow, so much to answer to! ok, let's go...

Originally Posted by jeff3

Maybe the negative people are still there because you still resonate with them.

I absolutely agree with you. When you're not a match for someone anymore, they just disappear. The problem here is that they are my family. If it were some friends of mine, they already would have been kicked out of my life. But I don't want to let my family behind.

Originally Posted by Spiritual

Let's all first drop the idea of "high vibrating and low vibrating", it's an ego thing and isn't helping you.

really? Well I really feel some vibrations, sorry. I don't know if they are vibrations in a physical sense, but it feels like something is vibrating. Of course just saying "high" and "low" is too much of a simplification, I used these words so that everyone would understand what I mean. I know it's a bit more complicated, for instance when someone is scared, I feel very high vibrations around them. But they're not harmonious, they're more like needles or prickles. In this case I would have said "they vibrate low" although they're not vibrating low at all... But you understand what I mean with high and low, that's the most important.

Originally Posted by Spiritual

You talk about cleaning chakra's and such, I don't really find these things profound or anything special for me personally, but if you really feel the change after a cleansing, I'm even a bit jealous.

Please be jealous, I feel a huge change after a cleansing

Originally Posted by Spiritual

So these people are getting "into" you. Well I wonder, why do you allow them? The only way others can get "into" you is by allowing their believes and ways of being to affect your way of being.

Hmmm... I don't know. One reason is that they resonate with a part of me. Another reason is my empathy. I'm not sure whether emotions are only a result of your thoughts. You propagate them around you too, and also can feel them from someone else.

It's not only the bad things that I let into me, the good ones too. When I'm near positive people I can feel that very well too, and feel wonderful. Once I met someone new, and first thing I asked him was which meditation technique he used. He was puzzled and asked me how I did know that?? Well I could feel it, he was so harmonious, I was sure he meditated regularly. His presence alone was enough to lift me up.

On the other hand, I can feel other people's negative emotions too, and they drag me down. I can't watch most movies because of the violence in them. When I go to the vet with my cat, and she's scared, I feel panic and begin to sweat myself. And no, I'm not afraid of the vet When someone is angry, I feel this anger too, a little bit outside of my body. I'm not thinking anything angry, but I get shaking hands and heat in my stomach.

Originally Posted by Spiritual

Don't be so bothered by "energylevels" or "vibrations", that's just the novice stuff of Hicks and The Secret (which is all cool). But focus on feeling good first, start to know for yourself what you DO want and how YOU want to live your life.

I know what I want.
You seem to see "energylevels" or "vibrations" from a very intellectual point of view, without this stuff playing any concrete role in your life. For me however, it's something very concrete and real.

Imagine: when I listen to music that's too loud, I begin to cry, have a nervous breakdown and end up falling on the floor. I guess the bass waves hit me too hard or something like that. I went to a concert three times in my life (with earplugs), and got knocked out every time. Well, emotions are the same for me. It's just as real and concrete as sound. I can feel fear and anger like I feel sound. So living with my family now is like listening to damn loud music all day long, or something like that.

In my childhood I often had nightmares about invisible waves hitting me. That hurts. It's not a physical pain, but it really hurts. When my mother just sits down near me, I feel like a wall of very chaotic waves hitting me. And when they're ranting, I literally feel physically attacked, although they don't even talk to me. Yeah I know all that sounds very weird and strange and esoteric, but I can't explain it better.

Originally Posted by Angela

Rose, do you think that may be true in this case? That what irritates you most about how your family is being is something that you would like to address in your own self?

Yes of course Angela, mirror-lady Their negativity is exactly what I'm working on inside of me. I think if I were totally sovereign, positive, stable and impermeable, their negativity couldn't affect me. I wouldn't mind them being as negative as they want to be then. But I haven't reached that point yet. I was like them and was very unhappy, depressed and ill in the past. I know what I want (be happy, healthy, have healthy relationships and so on), so I've been working very hard on that to become more positive.

I try to forget about all the not-so-useful things they taught me, to develop a positive abundance mindset, to choose empowering thoughts, and so on. I read books, learn and practice a lot. That's my #1 time investment. But all that is still quite unstable and (mostly because of empathy) still hugely depends on my environment, that's why it's difficult for me to stay positive while surrounded by negative people. And of course it bugs me to see what I try so hard to kick out of my life suddenly everywhere around me, and even influencing me and making me negative again! Does this make any sense?

Originally Posted by torilink

another thing is that we always get what we expect and if you arrived with the expectation they were going to drive you crazy, it's little wonder its happening.

yeah, that's also true... Last time I stayed for four weeks it got worse and worse and I had a complete breakdown after the third week. I admit that this time I thought "oh god that's going to be horrible again..." No wonder that it happened, indeed Thanks for reminding me!

Originally Posted by alexinspire

Practice "Listen and let go".

Thanks Alex, yes, you're right, absolutely. I have a very hard time doing it though. When I get some strong emotions thrown at my face and at the same time are told about some horrible things, listening and letting go is difficult. How to hear in all details about some politic prisonners being tortured or what happened to a young girl who was raped during a war or similar things, and keep enough distance? Even one of Angela's posts about circumcision made me feel like vomiting, screaming and crying. And dear Angela is not a negative person

dancer, thanks for your support

Mags and Paul, thanks for your advice. Now that's a way to keep some distance. I tried it today, it worked I just imagine that it's a costume party, and we're all playing roles. The news are fake, and I'm curious to see what the others will invent. We're just playing some games, like the "judge the neighbours" game, the "rant against politicians" game, the "worry about depressed family members" game, the "repeat once more how horrible the world is" game, the "get angry at some injustice" game, the "curse money and rich people" game... and so on. Requires some creativity to participate.

Something else I became aware of today is that when confronted with negativity, I get tense and stop breathing deeply and regularly. I guess this is an important reason why I'm losing so much energy. I'll watch my breathing.

Thanks all. I hope this thread is useful for someone else too