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Originally Posted by FIllness and fatigue  how do I move forward without hurting her, or her hurting herself? i fear that sometimes. |
No matter what you do or how you do it, she's going to feel hurt. That's normal and to be expected.
When I was a kid and my mum had to remove a bandage from me, she always ripped it off in one quick, follicle-shrieking motion.
Did it hurt? Farking right it did... for a moment. Then I went back outside to play.
But if I tried to remove the bandage slowly to minimize the flash of pain, it took more time, usually left a scarlet welt and didn't hurt any less than if it was done quickly.
There is no easy way, no matter how it's done it's going to hurt. Best do it quickly, finally (follow the no contact rule) and allow both her and you to move on.
What she does afterwards is entirely of her own volition. Sucks, yea, if she starts cutting herself, but what can you do about that? Get back with her? That won't solve anything; actually, it will probably make things worse because with her low self-esteem she'll be second-guessing you even more.
All I can suggest is to give her the number of a crisis line or something, or possibly talk to someone in her family (if that's something that's do-able) and tell them your concerns.