I think avoid it or defend from it really won't work. It's because when you avoid it, you are already resist or fear about it. That resistance and fear will be sent to the universe and make it even further!
Defending is also the same because you won't defend something if you are not scared and worry about that thing happening.
So, the best way is....
Accept it and let it go.
You can control your thoughts. I can care for you and ask you clean up your room. But it's up to you to think "He is complaining my room is not clean and want me to clean it up. He is so negative." No one can control your thoughts.
You family can be saying something bad about things and people around them, but it's up to you to think they are positive or negative. If you can positive think what they are saying, just listen and let it go. The more you try not to listen, the more hard they will try to tell you.
Practice "Listen and let go". That's a good practice my father do every night before sleep or else he can't sleep (I think he have lots of complain from his business too).
I think this will be helpful!
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