[Angelwings]

Dear All,

I ve been a member of tis wonderful personal development website.
I m 21. I m going into major transition right now. I struggled during the period at 17yrs old up til present moment. I ve been trying to find meaning, find goals and find purpose for my life. I ve been feeling very empty/dull about life.
When I came across Stevepav's idea of subjective reality, living consciously and believes create reality.
Ever since then I ve been awaken, Im more conscious about my reality.
Somehow,,.I feel LONELY, I feel nothing Suprises / Impresses me anymore because I ve expected the outcomes of many situations/things because I know i m in control of reality now. That's a real problem. I m in Subjective Reality; life is like a GAME.
I Feel more and more lonely coz EVERYONE Is living in OBJECTIVE REALITY. I m single, i want to attract a mate, I realised Relationship is a game too.
It would be hard to find someone that is AWAKEN and FULLY CONSCIOUS like me. Now i m regretting, I wish i m NOT AWAKEN. I wish i didnt take the BLUE PILL like NEO in Matrix. Should have chosen the RED PILL; remain ignorant, unconscious like most majority of population. I wud fit in better in society.

Anyone understand me? Any ways to be unconcious? I m 21, I think like a 31years old, i m way too mature too deep for my age, i m not fitting in with people of my age group. I feel unaccepted. I know i shouldnt care what others think; its not the point. My point is.. Where are conscious people out there? I cant see any, I cant have access to people's mind, I think i m the only conscious being in my reality,,,its quite lonely/scary.
I know almost all members of Stevpav are very highly developed conscious individuals.
How i wish i can see/talk to all conscious individuals in real life. I haven come across any in my life,, I m finding increasingly lonely as my consciousness progress.

Hope you all dont find me weird or something.