I can say I'm not depressed, I know myself. I'm just escaping from a part of my life: from my career. It's interesting that you say that sex would cheer me up. Right know my sex life is better than ever. So are my emotional life and my love life.
I just stop thinking about my career and my choices and think about what makes me feel good. Playing WoW, loving my boyfriend... I just can't be productive anymore but I try not to think about it in a way that would make me feel depressed.
When I lost my father my life was broken. Everything was diferent and nothing meant the same to me anymore. I learned lots of things from that. One was that it wasn't fair to be unhappy when I still had so much in my life. I embraced life in a special way that I don't think will ever banish as time goes by. I will never forget what my father taught my by leaving us, that's why I know I'm not depressed.
However, not feeling depressed doesn't mean I'm not sad about my situation. I'm worried and that's why I'm trying to find a solution. I've lost 4 years of college, now it's time to finally start working and studying real hard. The problem is that I don't know if I've made the wrong choice (architecture) or there's something inside me that keeps me from fighting for what I want to do. As it also stops me from doing things that I know I love, like blogging, photography or art, that tells me is not just about making a decision on my career but starting to do something productive with my life in as many ways I need to.
How do I start working? How do I sit down in front of the table and open the books for real? How do I face myself and my fears or whatever is making me escape my responsibilities?
Again, sorry for my english, I wish I could practice a lot more, I really like the language.
And thank you for your kind answers.
|