Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina
And here I thought I was the only person who knew about the purple banana in the bunnysuit. Boy was I misguided.
I totally know what you're talking about. It hit me in high school and college. I really wanted to go home. Nothing here mattered. Nothing here on earth was as wonderful as what I remembered back where I came from. And I felt that way for years. Until I met Steve. Until I realized what my purpose was. Until I remembered why I bothered to come here in the first place. It sometimes feels like I had to get out of a nice warm toasty bed and step out into the snow without boots. But living has its own charm, its own purpose, its own pleasures. Find your purpose, your pleasure, your reason for being and then you can be awake AND happy at the same time.
I'm crying now. No seriously, I am. Not bawling my eyes out, but tears are running over my face and I can't stop them. Weird as it may sound, I feel like I'm apparently 'normal'. It's a big relief to know the universe didn't glitch on me. I don't care what
happens, as long as it was meant
to happen. The idea of my current existence on Earth being nothing more than a system bug is beyond terrifying. If you used to feel like me and found your purpose, I may have one as well. I thought I found it in writing, as nothing gives me greater joy. Maybe there's something else, though I can't possibly think of what it could be. Writing is my bliss and when I write, everything makes sense. I get an 'episode' again (which does last longer than the 5-minute random ones).