Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

sunj · 12-02-2007, 07:35 AM

(continued...I exceeded 10,000 characters in my post above)

Try to do two things from the list everyday. Don't do everything at once, you'll just overwork yourself. When you become self-confident and you are no longer approval-seeking from women or men, you will naturally stop the nervousness habits. Don't worry, it takes time. It took me 3 years. There will be exceptions to the Do's and Don'ts I stated in that list. There is a small group of women who will think you're a player if you aren't nervous around them. It's because every guy they've dated that wasn't nervous around them was a player. You can't change their past.

One thing I want to make clear is that, DO NOT SEEK VALIDATION FROM WOMEN, MEN OR ANY OTHER EXTERNAL SOURCE. Validation should come from the inside. If you think having a girlfriend or having hot women around you makes you a man, that it makes you worthwhile, that it validates you, you are going to have a rough life. You are the only one that says how worthwhile you are. You are only valuable if YOU think you are valuable. Trust me on this. I'm the same person that I was back 3 years ago, the only thing that has changed is my perspective, how I see things and how I react to them. I don't have loads of money, good looks, nor am I famous, but I assure you when I approach a woman she will never think that I am lacking something in my life.

Your main question was how do you get rid of your fear of rejection. Fear goes away by repeatedly doing what you fear. I have also given you tips on how to reduce your rejeciton rate. So this is a two-pronged approach. You will be reducing your rejection rate and you will also be ridding yourself from the fear by approaching women.

ONLY WITH PERSISTENCE WILL YOU ARRIVE AT SUCCESS.

P.S It may seem like I have gone overboard with my response, and his one simple question turned into all this. I wanted to help him out the best I could because I went through the same thing he is going through. So ABdude, take what you need from my post, and come back to it when you feel stuck again.

P.S.S. This is a very long post so I will need to revise it to fix the grammar and spelling errors. I'll also have to make sure it's easy to read. I have some long sentences in which you can get lost.

12-02-2007, 07:35 AM	#6 (permalink)
sunj Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 91	(continued...I exceeded 10,000 characters in my post above) Try to do two things from the list everyday. Don't do everything at once, you'll just overwork yourself. When you become self-confident and you are no longer approval-seeking from women or men, you will naturally stop the nervousness habits. Don't worry, it takes time. It took me 3 years. There will be exceptions to the Do's and Don'ts I stated in that list. There is a small group of women who will think you're a player if you aren't nervous around them. It's because every guy they've dated that wasn't nervous around them was a player. You can't change their past. One thing I want to make clear is that, DO NOT SEEK VALIDATION FROM WOMEN, MEN OR ANY OTHER EXTERNAL SOURCE. Validation should come from the inside. If you think having a girlfriend or having hot women around you makes you a man, that it makes you worthwhile, that it validates you, you are going to have a rough life. You are the only one that says how worthwhile you are. You are only valuable if YOU think you are valuable. Trust me on this. I'm the same person that I was back 3 years ago, the only thing that has changed is my perspective, how I see things and how I react to them. I don't have loads of money, good looks, nor am I famous, but I assure you when I approach a woman she will never think that I am lacking something in my life. Your main question was how do you get rid of your fear of rejection. Fear goes away by repeatedly doing what you fear. I have also given you tips on how to reduce your rejeciton rate. So this is a two-pronged approach. You will be reducing your rejection rate and you will also be ridding yourself from the fear by approaching women. ONLY WITH PERSISTENCE WILL YOU ARRIVE AT SUCCESS. P.S It may seem like I have gone overboard with my response, and his one simple question turned into all this. I wanted to help him out the best I could because I went through the same thing he is going through. So ABdude, take what you need from my post, and come back to it when you feel stuck again. P.S.S. This is a very long post so I will need to revise it to fix the grammar and spelling errors. I'll also have to make sure it's easy to read. I have some long sentences in which you can get lost.