Lauxa,
Thanx for sharing. It is true that polarization increases your happiness. I think any conspiracy theory is fear based, and that is not necessarily bad, as long as you seek for truth and not excitement.
I also belief that the international banking system is corrupt, it evolved as a way of stealing from the public through inflation and from poor countries through trade barriers. The present turmoil in the financial market is sign that it is crumbling.
More generally I think the securities market is instrument of fear, and that is again not necessarily bad, because I have had great affinity with money and speculation the past 12 years. A good definition of money is liquid power.
You ask if Fear brings less happiness than Love... Allow me to explain.
I have been fear polarized my whole life, and became conscious of this through Steves writing. After I embraced it, expanded it, I manifested a clarity and activity I had never experienced. Life was guilt free and highly energized in an almost sexual way. I manifested succesful projects and the best relationship (and sex) I ever had. You become an efficient achiever, getting what you want, not what "society" wants you to want. You come in tune with power.
But my raised consciousness also made me aware of the power of love and, which I so far have only used to a very limited extent. I began to feel I was missing something, not because "they" say I "should" love, but because my increased perception saw how it worked through others. After weeks of introspection I decided I need to try Love at least 9 months.
Subjectively, so far, I was happier when I was Fear polarized, BUT this was because my energy flow was stronger then, it was my specialty. I have been with Love for only a few days now, and I am beginning to manifest happiness, but it is very different. But the differences are clear already and I begin to see the drawbacks of Fear polarization. The biggest problem is that it is a losing game that ultimately manifests suffering. You invest all your consciousness in your own ego. But the ego will die. That is what Steve means with unconditional safety. The ego is NOT safe. So while you may manifest a great life of success and pleasure (Napoleon, Alexander the Great) and even might be immortalized by poets, you do so at the cost of being cut of from the unity of everything. You will never feel the bliss of God or Brahma or Consciousness...
My present Love polarization attracted new sources of information that strengthen my belief that getting things for yourself can not make you fundamentally happy, because it is transitory. You will never be satisfied. I felt this during my darkworker days. Often the satisfaction was hardly worth the karmic debt.
This has to with that according to enligtened people the "self" is not real, and thus you live in a delusion that causes suffering. For instance, I felt first hand that the sex with my girlfriend was less gratifying than the fact that she was such a lovely person. It made me happier when I admired her instead of consuming her.. This was one of the things that made me doubt my commitment to my ego.
So why don't you try a darkworker trial to compare? Do you FEAR you might like it?
