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Originally Posted by Elainemarley  Look at me, I'm here, writing this in a forum waiting for someone I don't know and who doesn't know me to give me the answer and tell me what to do. Because I can't do it by myself and being aware of my problem it's driving me nuts. |
You seem to have a wide arrange of interests. No one among us can tell us which will end up being your passion.
I know about the "not feeling good enough" phase. I was there two or three years ago. The answer is, practice, practice, practice. You should devote yourself into getting really good at two or three of your interests. Architecture-web designing - art sounds a great combination. You have to specialize in one, if only to see that you can get really good at it. You may be unwilling to devote such long hours to get better because of fear of making the wrong choice. Well, forget about that. There are no wrong choices in learning. All the courses I've done have served me for one thing or the other. Learning is never wasted. So, among you chief interests now, pick one and practice. And practice. And practice. Until there comes a point (and you'll notice when you get there, believe me) when you feel you are good enough.
Before feeling "good enough" there are intermediate steps. The "Whoa! Did I do it!" step. The "Argh! I just can't!" step (lots of these along the way) and the "Wheeee! I could!" point.
If you don't give up in the frustration point "Argh! I just can't! This balaustrade doesn't look marble, and I already spent twenty hours on it!", and actually defeat the bitchy marble balaustrade, the sense of self worth and satisfaction will be great. First, because you actually did it when it felt impossible. Second, because after you get to know how it's done, you can do marble balaustrades easily and quickly. And most important, third: next time you face a seemingly unbeatable obstacle, you will KNOW that you can beat it, you will KNOW that if you keep on trying, and keep on trying, and keep on trying, you will do it. Because you've been there, done that. The first impossibly-high wall you climb is the hardest, because in the middle of the trip you are doubting if you'll make it. You want to go back and stop there. But after you've jumped that one, it's like if the wall had fallen at your back. Next wall you see is less impressive. Don't get me wrong, next one will still be hard, will take all your strength and perseverance, because if you see it as a wall chances are it's far higher than the last one. But this time you know the feeling. You know you can make it, when you weren't that sure before. And after that, it's not easier (in fact it will get harder), but it will feel easier.
If you are afraid of choosing wrong, choosing a path, working hard and climbing a million walls just to find afterwards that this is not the path you like, and these are not your walls... That's OK. Don't be afraid of that. If you switch careers, any effort that you've spent in the last one will be helpful for the next one. Physichs may be very different from say, Cantonese. But if you climb the walls of Physics, when you get to Cantonese, you'll know how to face adversity, how to face the setbacks, the stagnation, the frustrating "I can't!" times. You'll know you can. Maybe not today, maybe not in the next five, twenty, hundred hours. But you'll know it's just a question of time. Coolest thing is, after a one-hundred hours work, repeating the same work takes only five or six. Only you don't want to stop there, and go for even more difficult works. But you are getting better in the way, you feel satisfied and worthy. And besides, when you get to know the chosen field in-depth, you'll get to know if that's the big one, the one you wanted... Or not.
I hope I was at least a little bit helpful. Remember, none of us can tell you what's best for you. You alone can find out. And having superficial knowledge of a field won't tell you if you like it, just as looking at a book cover won't tell you if the book will move you. Get acquainted and proficient in one of your skills, at least. Even if what you get to know is only that you could do it, and that this one skill is not the one you love best, that alone will be far better than what you have now.