Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina  You were speaking your truth up until that last paragraph. You're experiencing a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10, trying to convince yourself that it's really a 7 and that maybe a 7 isn't so bad. Better to accept a 1 as a 1 and then focus on building the strength and courage to go after the 9 or 10 you really want. |
Problem is, if money doesn't start appearing when I'm not working, I get pressure from family and friends (husband, both sides of the family) to get "stabilized", to get "normal". I've never listened to violent peer pressure, but I never realized how strong the pressure can be when it comes from people who actually love you and mean the best for you. If someone tried to convince me that my trousers were nasty at school, ten kids insulting me wouldn't remotely convince me that they were right. But people who really care about me manage to get me down. I feel I am betraying them if I don't manage to make ends meet. It's because I care for them. Maybe I'm focusing my love for them in the wrong way. And I feel also guilty for my boss, he's been training me for a time and if I leave all that time will be wasted.
I wrote that last "it's not that bad sentence" out of guilt, I think. I mean, saying "I'm quitting my job because law of attraction wants me to" isn't something that feels right. Or won't sound right if you try to explain it. Problem is... I didn't remember when I wrote my first post, but there was a fourth case. I tried to be an insurance commercial once. Day I had to start I fell and sprained my ankle bad. It got plastered for fifteen days, so I had to leave the job. Thinking I actually attracted one car crash, one extremely painful injure, and two heavy car problems makes me think I'm sometimes crazy, just admitting I caused such trouble to my family and my economy makes me feel guilty. I wouldn't cause such losses and trouble on purpose.
That's when you say I have the responsibility, whether I want to admit it or not. I guess ignoring one's power is like letting a child with a tantrum play with dinamite. It's going to be there, whether you want it or not. I want my family to be happy and I want to help with their financial susteinance, but I guess making myself unhappy ever after isn't the answer. I just don't dare admit it because I fear failure.
When I said my new job wasn't
that bad, I really meant it: the previous two were 0 and -1 in every human scale. This one's a 2, it has creative input, uses all my strenghts (administration, English and arts), and actually includes creative work. I guess I'm scared of leaving this one because, as far as jobs are, they just don't get better than this one. Still, it feels like a trap. Still, the "Am I going to stay here for years?" is pounding in my head for at least six of every eight hours I spend there. Not the best ratio, indeed. Slightly better than before, maybe that's why I'm even more scared of losing this one. The reasoning is, "if I lose this one and I fail, whatever comes next will be worse".
I am so glad I asked here. That sentence was weighing inside me, until I opened the first link you gave me and read Hellen Keller's
"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature,
nor do the children of men as a whole experience it.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure."
Well, things are getting better at my intention-manifestation world. I've found your post exactly at the time I needed it the most, and your answer. I guess things are getting better. Now it's just creating possitive feelings. At least I know how strong they have to be to work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina It's great you're experiencing setbacks on the wrong path -- that's far better than going numb. The setbacks will continue to occur until you start cooperating with your higher purpose instead of fighting/ignoring it. The more setbacks you have, the stronger and clearer your desire for what you want will become. |
I can count myself lucky, then! I feel so happy now. Resigning next Monday. By the way, the universe game me a needed push making my boss ask me to have an impossible schedule, so family actually wants me to quit.
Geez, I must learn to get this results for the possitive side. I must be as happy and hopeful and yearning for what I'll do, as strongly as I was unhappy and desperate and fearing the time to go to work before. I guess I've learned something from this. And funny thing is, in the end things sorted themselves out. The car will move again (wasn't that badly damaged), family has suddenly chose not to pressure me into taking certain jobs... And only thing I did was feel awfully bad. I'll start practicing feeling awfully well, and check out the results!
Thank you very much for the links. It is the first time I feel a good sinchronicity happen, strong and clear. So far, it's only been the bad ones. I so much needed to read that "Safety is mostly a superstition". I had forgotten.