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Originally Posted by LoveFreedom  Hi everyone,
This is a timely post. Synchronicity for me as I am having a financially 'tender' day. It seems that the more I earn the more I spend and the bills just keep coming. I live very comfortably, primarily thanks to my partners earnings, but so desperately want to be self-sufficient. And my credit cards just get dented more and more. I feel panicky, anxious and pretty scared when I think of money, so I avoid thinking of money most of the time. It feels just too sore when i do. It's a bit of a vicious circle, but I am not sure how to escape this rollercoaster. I do meditation, visualisations, affirmations and the money comes, but then it goes even faster.
Ok, it may be a belief about my worth, it may be some conditioning or a mind virus, who knows, all I want to know is what are the practical ways of getting out of this state.The more money attracting work I do -the more money come my way, but then the dents on my credit cards get bigger as well and so are my fears. I tried different things and I intellectually understand how it works, but the emotional hold is so strong that I cannot escape.
Many of you talked about what is wrong with this kind of belief system, and I agree. But a diagnosis is not the same as the cure. And I am not so clear what the cure is. I just probably can't see it clearly enough, so if any of you can, please share!
Jeff3, I like the metaphor of the horn of plenty. Well done. I will keep it in mind.
RF Wolf, I read your 'musing' and it made me think of something I read ages ago. An article about one of the cosmetics company, started by a woman ages ago (not sure which one it was). She made face creams for women back in the 40s or 50s and charged A LOT, way above the costs. People kept buying like crazy. They were bying this dream of looking better, younger, or maybe they were buying a bit of self-indulgence, who knows. But this lady said that people never value things that come for free and the more you charge the more perceived value is in your stuff. It got stuck to my mind.
I have been observing people since then and freebies are not treated with respect, neither are cheap things. The value of things has nothing to do with the 'rational' value.
Anyway, these were my musings... Thanks for the posts everyone, This is one great forum! |
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Originally Posted by LoveFreedom I feel panicky, anxious and pretty scared when I think of money, so I avoid thinking of money most of the time. It feels just too sore when i do. |
I know exactly how that is, I try to avoid looking at my bank balance because it is depressing to see that it keeps getting smaller. When I do get a little extra cash something breaks or some additional expense comes up. Right now I have a stack of bills literally 3" tall sitting right here, some of which aren't even opened because I can't stand to look at them.That's my current reality and I can't wish it away and if I try to work exxxxtra hard and longer hours it stays the same.....except I'm more tired and grumpy.
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Originally Posted by LoveFreedom what are the practical ways of getting out of this state. |
Changing mental states is easy, just go to a seminar, watch a movie, or read a book, it'll likely pump you up for a day or two or maybe a week but eventually the
emotional change wears off and the mental programs that create your reality just keep on creating the same thing. Beliefs are ideas or concepts that we internalize once we decide they are true, after that we will create circumstances that validate the belief. Since our reality is complex it has many beliefs that support and perpetuate it and a lot of them are intertwined which I think creates a lot of our resistance to change. How to change the programs or beliefs is what I believe you are looking for and I still don't have a good answer that works all the time, but this is a sort of brute force attack that sometimes works for me. First I try to identify and narrow down to a phrase or two what may be holding me up, like, "There is never enough money" for example. This very simple phrase could kill all your attempts to have "enough money" if it has been internalized. It could have started innocently enough by you overhearing a serious or heated discussion by your parents about finances, then, when you see something you want to buy but haven't enough money, it gets reinforced again and that could happen many times to a kid growing up. You could tell yourself, or be told by someone else, that "there's not enough money" hundreds or thousands of times over the years. Once it is narrowed to as few words as possible I create a statement that says what I would prefer the reality to be, again in as few words as possible, then I start looking for things that validate the statement , however small they may be, and continue this focus as best I can. Eventually you will begin to see that things are changing and you don't have to search for validation, it will be the way it is. The hard part for me is keeping the continued focus on the positive statement because my experience is that the old belief will not go easily (at least with this method) and things could get worse before they get better. I mentioned in my 'YIKES' thread that my life had fallen apart right before my eyes and I feel it is this 'reverse effect' caused by resistance.