Quote:
Originally Posted by wolfgang  Having a loss brings up memories. But then to remember is also to find grief in facing the future without similar kinds of memories being possible anymore. Then that is sad and a missing and a longing. How does that turn into a good thing? How does remembering make the heart whole again? Is it possible to feel a memory for what it is without projecting the dismal future and to be happy that you loved? |
Yes, having a loss brings up memories. But they are not necessary bad memories. Time heals all wounds. Sooner or later the bad things fade and the good things stay. It's when this doesn't happen and the negative memory takes the life of its own, we usually talk about the psychological problem. And all XXth century psychology is about being able to do something about it.
The common consensus among most schools of psychology is that we need to "relive" the traumatic moment to let it go. The ways of how to do it is where the branches of psychology differ.
Creating a bridge to the topic about crying, once we clearly put something in the past, it has no power over us. But if we remember the painful moment ad if it is happening here and now (which it doesn't), it will cause us pain.
The funny thing is that you can take positive stuff and literally make it cover the negative. But that's some mental magic.
