Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelwings  Social pressure, If i dont go, friends wud think of me as NERD or workoholic, not fun at all, boring..
Also, friends seemed disappointed. Damn! i care too much what ppl think, does it matter? |
I see. Well, I wouldn't say you should ignore your friends desires. I've learned the hard way that being social makes life better. Still, being social does not mean fulfilling any request. In your case, you don't have to go to each and every party. You have the right to go only to those parties, that
1. Do not interfere with your goals
2. Are worthwhile by your own standards
However, if it was a tradition that you are going to every party and your friends have learned to expect you there, you have to respect it. Let them know in a clear and unambiguous way, that there were changes in your life and you can't spend as much time with them as you used to. Let them know that you love them (if you do) and when can they expect you to show up and when they can not. Just changing your behavior can be confusing to other people and they can interpret it as you changing your attitude towards
them and not towards the parties. This can come across as being mean and will cause them to induce guilt in you.
My guess it that you and your friends are young and not all of them have made the transition from "party life" to "adult life with some responsibilities". You are being a forerunner of things to come. And that also can cause their anxiety.
In the worst case, there might be some misunderstanding now, but in a few months or years, it won't matter and they will not hold a grudge against you.
We've had a school reunion this year, and boy, we were happy to see each other and realize how stupid and meaningless all school politics was.
Just remember that you are doing the right thing, and if after you polite explanation, your friends won't accept the changes in your life, well, they will have to grow up.