Quote:
Originally Posted by cylon  So you spend your life in a fog not realizing how much power you have.
---
I used to be mad at the world, or other people, and felt a victim.... I can't do that anymore. So I guess I'm just mad at ME for letting my life get so damn screwy.
---
absolutely furious that I've allowed my life to just be created by default. Who knows how long I would have lived in the fog. |
I absolutely know what you mean. What's the other thread that's running right now? Something like what was your proof of LOA? What convinced you of LOA? I didn't contribute to that thread because, quite frankly, when I first learned of it a year or so ago it did nothing but piss me off. Royally!
"Are you kidding me?" I thought. "I just got out of spending half my life in an abusive marriage. I most certainly DID NOT create that!"
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"
Finding my fury was what enabled me to get out of the marriage. Fury at my husband. Fury at God. Fury at the Universe. Then I read this crap?!! First I was furious at the very concept of LOA. Then I was furious with myself for being the victim for so long.
But when I really internalized it, I realized it was true. I walked on egg shells everyday when I got home because I expected to walk on egg shells. My then husband was cruel and demeaning and bitter because I knew he would be that way. I spent lots of time and brain power thinking about what an angry man he was and how I was going to avoid his anger.
*sigh*
"life created by default" is right. It breaks my heart a little bit now to think how long I lived creating such a miserable existence. A life I once seriously believed I could only escape through suicide.
We've really come a long way, haven't we?