[martin]

Originally Posted by ChangeYourTree

I think you did a great thing by moving out of his house.

I also think you don't need him in your life right now. When people emotionally and physically abuse us, we can't allow them access to us any further.

I would write him a letter to the effect of:

"Dad,

I love you.

I don't appreciate the way you treat me. Your actions on many occasions amount to nothing more than physical and emotional abuse. I will not allow you to subject me to that.

When you hit me and yell at me I feel pain. When you fail to control your words and your anger, I feel sad and distant.

Dad, if you continue to act this way I will cut off all contact with you. I will not talk to you on the phone, in person, or on the internet. I will not respond to your requests. I will not visit you.

---Signed"

The next time he starts into it, you walk out or call someone to come get you. After that, it's over. Not forever, but for a very long time. long enough for him to get the point (months or years).

The next thing I want you to understand is that these issues are his problem, not yours. You are not responsible for controlling his behavior, fixing his problems, etc. You are only responsible for protecting yourself.

You sound very intelligent. I wish you luck.

I really like your idea. I'll give him another chance, I'll do everything right, but if for some reason he lashes out on me again, I'll write that letter to him. Thank you so much.