Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post - I think my brother is suffering from depression... advice?

eblight · 11-26-2007, 09:52 PM

Sometimes putting pressure on someone and giving them advice will make them even more resistant to helping themselves. Why do you all want your brother to be different? I know that you can see a better life for him but until he asks for help you may be just creating more feelings of inadequacy for him. He may well be depressed and self sabotaging and need help. Maybe he has to reach rock bottom before he begins to reach out to others. At least he knows he has a supportive family. He is very fortunate there. Can you accept the way he is right now? I used to try to help others when they weren't ready. It was a waste of time. The best thing I found to do was to let them know that I was there for them and that I would help them as best as I could if they needed me to do that. I remained loving and accepting of them as they were. They in turn stopped feeling that I was pressuring them and not loving them.

11-26-2007, 09:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
eblight Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: New Zealand Posts: 172	Acceptance Sometimes putting pressure on someone and giving them advice will make them even more resistant to helping themselves. Why do you all want your brother to be different? I know that you can see a better life for him but until he asks for help you may be just creating more feelings of inadequacy for him. He may well be depressed and self sabotaging and need help. Maybe he has to reach rock bottom before he begins to reach out to others. At least he knows he has a supportive family. He is very fortunate there. Can you accept the way he is right now? I used to try to help others when they weren't ready. It was a waste of time. The best thing I found to do was to let them know that I was there for them and that I would help them as best as I could if they needed me to do that. I remained loving and accepting of them as they were. They in turn stopped feeling that I was pressuring them and not loving them.