[frogcat]

Hi,
I think my brother is suffering from depression. He's unemployed, he's gaining weight, he's always hyper critical of himself. He doesn't seem to want to do much, or talk about what's bugging him.

I've been irritating him with my "suggestions" and "help." Maybe you can offer some insight or advice?

For the past 6 months, he's been looking to work as an analog chip designer. He got his MSEE 6 years ago, and hasn't been working in the field, and now he feels that this is what he really wants to do, but nobody will hire him.
When talking about his job hunt, he is always really negative about anything he knows, anything he's done. It really seems like if he doesn't believe in himself, nobody will be hiring him for the position he desires.

I've asked him what's wrong... Why is he so down on himself, why doesn't he take stock at what he's been doing, and make adjustments. he says he doesn't want to talk about it... he doesn't know.

I've asked him what he wants to do as far as his own creative ideas... but when he says he's thought about designing a guitar pedal, he doesn't actually want to pursue it... even after I offered to help to see if there would be a market for what he wants to do

He hasn't excercised in 6 months, and he said has no interest in anybody telling him what to do when I tried to suggest that exercise might help him

My family have talked about him seeing a therapist. He says maybe, but he says it like it's to stop us talking about it, and it doesn't seem like he will actually do it.

I've tried asking him how he's feeling. He doesn't want to talk about it.

I've told him I love him, my whole family has done that too.

He broke up from his girlfriend of several years about 2 years ago, and one of the things she was concerned about wat that he was so down on himself.

He lives 400 miles away, in Berkeley, rent free in the house of a college buddy. I don't know how much longer his finances will last. Because his friend's wife is expecting a baby in March, I suspect he'll have to move out before then...

But he's in town this week, and I feel this is my chance to try to do something. I worry that "just leaving him alone until he wants to seek treatment" isn't a very good approach, since he's been on his own for so long, and doesn't seem to be getting better by himself.

My mom's been trying in her own way to put pressure on him, and also be encouraging. My brother is staying at her house this week.

Anyways, I figured that maybe if anyone's got any anecdotes or advice to share on helping loved ones suffering from depression, I'd sure appreciate it.