As far as mates and mortgages are concerned... if you and your mate support each other at the highest level, the two of you will place a higher priority on seeing each other live purpose-driven, truly fulfilling lives than on achieving or maintaining some arbitrary material standard.
Erin and I have gone through multiple periods where one or both of us went through career transitions that caused our income to dip noticeably. We accepted it and supported each other through it. One time we moved to a smaller apartment and slashed our living expenses by half.
We've had years where we didn't have much of a budget for Xmas gifts. So what? We wrote each other letters of encouragement or poems, gifts we cherish more than the store-bought ones anyway.
If I told Erin I was going to make a career transition that would see our income drop drastically, and she knew it was really important to me, she has options. She can accept a lower material standard for a while, or she can work to increase her own income. Or she can decide she's had enough and dump me. She isn't some helpless weakling who's victimized by my decisions. If she started becoming fearful about our financial issues, I'd help her work through those fears and make sure she was truly pointed in the direction of her dreams. It's hard to worry about money when you're inspired. And if she still couldn't handle that, I'd let her go because I'm unwilling to settle for a fear-based relationship. If Erin worried more about the roof over our heads than the fire in our souls, she'd never be my Imzadi.
Erin and I have gone through enough career transitions and major financial shifts that we trust each other. We also know each other pretty well. We can tell when we're doing something for the right reasons, and doing that is far more important than money for both of us. If Erin needed to shut off her income for a year or more to navigate a tricky transition, I'd be delighted to help her through that, even if it meant dumping some possessions or writing more poetry for Christmas. I'd rather see us both dressed in rags doing what we love than living in fear under a golden roof.
If I didn't have Erin's support on a certain decision, but I knew it was the right decision and that I was doing it for the right reasons, I'd go ahead with the decision without her support, and I'd let her do what she felt she had to do.
Your mate is neither helpless nor powerless. To pretend that's the case is to give your power to fear.
For another perspective on this, see:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...-own-business/