I actually wrote an entire article yesterday about identity, how amusing!
Loving Awareness: Breaking through the chains of identity
the first bit of it:
So what is identity? The etymology of the word comes from the Latin words for “sameness” and “over and over”. This in itself gives a good picture of it - a fixated pattern or image that can be repeated over and over. It can be looked at as a temporary protection against the unknown. Where there is the dark unknown and the feeling of helplessness come from it, then terror appears, and so there is a desire to control that comes from this. Identity is the standard result.
Because of the nature of interconnection between us, identities are not isolated towers etched in stone. Your identity depends on the interactions you have with others, particularly intimate relationships. The degree of “sameness” and repetition of behavior in relationships creates safety and protection more firmly than any amount of home security. Conversely, when someone’s behavior and identity fluctuates without agreement from everyone involved, a sense of betrayal and threat is often the results. When you question your identity, ripples flow outward that invite everyone surrounding you to also question their own identity. For some, this is incredibly fearful. To real degree, this can feel if one’s life is about to end - because in some ways, it is.