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lifequest · 11-22-2007, 04:23 AM

I think the key here is balance.

You can't go around helping everyone. At some point, you have to think about yourself and your future. But also, you can't neglect everyone around you and neglect them. It'll backfire on you in the long run.

I prefer the "scratch my back I'll scratch yours" approach when it comes to studying and passing exams (a theory I wouldn't apply in every aspect of life though). For me, what worked throughout the years, was finding who I could depend on. Dependable friends, I've always been there to help them and explain stuff, and vice-versa. New people I met? Since it's always hard to judge, I usually give them the benefit of the doubt and help them (unless some friends point out to me that this person is not trustworthy from past experiences). If that person turns out to be just a life sucking dweb that doesn't want to work, only will only try to get things from me (like explanations or assignements), but never helps me back in return when I don't understand something, than at one point, I just consciously decide not to work with that person anymore. I find that some people are good to work with, and others, well, you should just stick to friendship (if that's possible).

For example, last year, I was doing a project in a group of 4 people. The fourth guy didn't understand a thing we were doing. We tried to help him, but at one point, we realize not only he wasn't gonna progress, he wasn't even interested in what we had to do, and relied 100% on us to the job. After a democratic decision, we three other members threw him off the team. Drastic? Yes. But since then, I always help those to others partners when they need it, and they do to. You get what you give.

Also, I prefer to study quietly and alone (less distraction), and not in groups. When in groups, I find you always lose a lot of time explaining stuff to other people. Usually, if I get together with some friends, it's after I have had time to study alone, and before going to see the teacher to get further explanations. Then it's much clearer what I know (and can help other people with) and what I don't know (and need help with, whether from friends or the teacher). That way, the discussions go faster, and everybody gets the infos they need and are happy.

So, the answer to your question can't be yes or no. It has to be in the somewhere in the middle.

11-22-2007, 04:23 AM	#5 (permalink)
lifequest Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 66	I think the key here is balance. You can't go around helping everyone. At some point, you have to think about yourself and your future. But also, you can't neglect everyone around you and neglect them. It'll backfire on you in the long run. I prefer the "scratch my back I'll scratch yours" approach when it comes to studying and passing exams (a theory I wouldn't apply in every aspect of life though). For me, what worked throughout the years, was finding who I could depend on. Dependable friends, I've always been there to help them and explain stuff, and vice-versa. New people I met? Since it's always hard to judge, I usually give them the benefit of the doubt and help them (unless some friends point out to me that this person is not trustworthy from past experiences). If that person turns out to be just a life sucking dweb that doesn't want to work, only will only try to get things from me (like explanations or assignements), but never helps me back in return when I don't understand something, than at one point, I just consciously decide not to work with that person anymore. I find that some people are good to work with, and others, well, you should just stick to friendship (if that's possible). For example, last year, I was doing a project in a group of 4 people. The fourth guy didn't understand a thing we were doing. We tried to help him, but at one point, we realize not only he wasn't gonna progress, he wasn't even interested in what we had to do, and relied 100% on us to the job. After a democratic decision, we three other members threw him off the team. Drastic? Yes. But since then, I always help those to others partners when they need it, and they do to. You get what you give. Also, I prefer to study quietly and alone (less distraction), and not in groups. When in groups, I find you always lose a lot of time explaining stuff to other people. Usually, if I get together with some friends, it's after I have had time to study alone, and before going to see the teacher to get further explanations. Then it's much clearer what I know (and can help other people with) and what I don't know (and need help with, whether from friends or the teacher). That way, the discussions go faster, and everybody gets the infos they need and are happy. So, the answer to your question can't be yes or no. It has to be in the somewhere in the middle.