[Sakaguchi]

Originally Posted by lightthecandle

all too often I feel like hiding from people, probably because I'm really self - conscious. and I think shyness is something that is preventing me from truly LIVING my life. I'm in college, and I already feel like I've missed out on highschool and the first two years of college so far, by being too shy to talk, and being depressed, and never ever smiling.

but now I smile all the time, so that makes the situation better, but still. I just want to LIVE and my shyness is holding me back so much.

I relate a freaking lot to what you just said! It's like I wrote all those things!

Anyway, I know exactly how you feel. In two years being in College I feel I haven't experienced everything I could have. I'm sad like you, and I think that's exactly what's keeping us from being the people we can be.

In my early teen years I was worse, but life ended up helping me a little bit, and I even managed to have my group of friends/colleagues in College.

As someone here said, the secret is to start with small groups of people. I wouldn't tell you to suddenly become the life of the party and act like you're best friends with everybody, I know that wouldn't feel natural to you. Just don't avoid interacting with people everytime you have the oportunity to, it's really important (even if small talk seems hideous to you). In the worse case scenario, you get more acquantainces. In the best case scenario, that's how a friendship can begin!

All I know is that isolating yourself from the world is harmful and unnecessary (at least for me it is). Everytime I try to act differently and interact with someone in College I always get surprised looks and comments like: "Wow, you're much coller than I imagined!" and stuff like that. Believe you me, NOT isolating yourself makes a big difference!

But before you can come out of your shell, the first thing to do would be to feel better in your own skin. Being sad and depressed all the time doesn't make it any easier for people to want to get to know people like us.
I suggest you cling to the good things in life, whatever you can find. Even if your life doesn't seem good right now, think of the little things that make you happy: books you like, songs that make you content, etc. Even remembering a funny joke will help you change your mood, at least temporarily. Is there an activity you'd like to participate on, an instrument you'd like to play, a haircut you'd like to have? The more you try get envolve in new activities, the more sense of acomplishment you get, and easier it is to forget how miserable you're feeling.

I don't need to say that loving yourself is a must-do, but I'm not in the position of giving you advice about it yet.

One thing that helps me too is to engage myself in something that challenges me. I'm still having trouble getting the courage needed to do those things, but when I finally do it, it's so worth it! I'm really scared to talk in public, and my Microoganisms Genetics teacher wanted volunteers to give lectures about a chosen topic. I signed up for it, and although I was really nervous I did great!

You can also try EFT, I've read good reports of it all over! As a major procrastinator, I haven't used it on my shyness problems yet, but I suggest you give it a try!

Here's the website if you have never heard of it: EFT Provides Impressive Health and Emotional Freedom--New Discovery Often Works Where Nothing Else

I know they were all simple advice, but I really hope I helped you a little! You certainly helped me, reminding me I'm not the only one in the world to feel like this!

My best wishes to you!

Sakaguchi