My fiancé killed himself after I left him. So, I am very well-acquainted with this situation.
Many men feel suicidal after their spouse leaves. Divorce is considered as traumatic as dealing with the death of a loved on. And due to society, men are often ill-equipped to deal with the extreme pain, feelings of abandonment, self-shame, etc..
Right now, your friend is feeling a pain he doesn't know how to handle. He feels that death is the only way to escape the pain. He's like a man who is burning alive - all he wants is to put out the flames. He isn't thinking of the people around him, or other options. He wants relief.
Telling him "you would destroy people's lives" doesn't work. Suicidal people aren't rational. Again, they are burning alive and just want to put out the flames.
Also, they may also be thinking "well, the world would be better without me anyways." Yes...they think of any and all justifications to kill themselves.
The best things to do:
#1 - Contact his family.
#2 - Realize that this decision is 100% his own choice. What you do or say, or not do and not say, will not sway his mind. You can't save him, because he is seriously not rational now. Now matter what, don't feel responsible for his decisions.
He needs to decide to live, or not to live. Call him everyday, offer a non-judgemental shoulder to lean on. But ultimately, you are doing the maximum possible. Only he can keep himself from killing himself.  |