[cylon]

Vasilisa I'm in a similar spot so I know what you're going through. About a year ago I started investigating LOA. At that time I was in my current job, not too happy with the circumstances. I was working with a girl who things went romantically bad with, and seeing her every day became a living nightmare, it seemed like her mission in life was to make me miserable for walking away from her. Within a few days of reading the Secret, she got a new job, I never saw her again, and it was like a huge mountain was lifted off my shoulders.

Since then I have been really focusing on what I want from life. I felt I deserved a better job, a better relationship. I met a new girl, thought she could be the one. And as I started reading things like the Power of Now and visiting this forum, my main focus has been attracting positive things, developing my music writing, getting the courage to change jobs... and like you, everything turned upside down. As my standards for myself went up, the girl literally diappeared out of thin air. The job got worse, there were power plays against me by a bunch of people who are afraid of my abilities, I stopped getting any enjoyment from the meager social life I had. And the whole time I'm thinking "What the hell? I'm attracting POSITIVE things in my life. Why is everything blowing up around me??"

What I'm saying is everything I have been holding onto is being removed from my life and it's pretty scary. It's just kind of happening. As I feel more personal power, the circumstances in my life have a big spotlight on them and I could realize, there was NOTHING in my life that was good for me. Job, relationships, my friends, every single thing in my life was negative and limiting. NONE of them reflected the real me. They brought out the worst in me. I was FORCED to confront my inner resistance, my habits, my limiting beliefs. You can't be involved in something like this forum and PD/IM WITHOUT that happening.

Now the pain is subsiding, and I realize like CD said, this is probably the beginning of the rest of my life. The old is just being cleared away. I kind of feel like I moved into a new city, with no history. Like I'm starting from scratch. I've got my family, a couple people who truly care about me, a job I have decided to leave and am taking the steps to leave, and that's it. And that's fine. Whoever I used to be is gone and it appears that the REAL me is coming out for the first time, with a clean slate. I'm writing music like a maniac, diving into things like Ask and it is Given, taking responsibility for my thoughts....It can only get better from here. The past is GONE. The rest of your life starts NOW.