[Bliss Sage]

Hi cdn. Thanks for your kind reply.

Originally Posted by cdn2wheeler

From what's written here, you seem to have a lot of unresolved issues about sex. You mentioned that you hated sex, that it turns men into raving beasts, most men where you are bad

Just to clarify - when I wrote that I hated sex, it became that way due to the way I felt I was treated when the two guys I mentioned got in that mood. It was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I ceased to be a human being and turned into some kind of thing and it was like they didn't know who I was anymore.

Concerning the men - well, most of the ones where I currently am, and I say most to allow leeway for ones I've never met, are quite bad for me. If you knew where I am, chances are you would understand and agree.

and that though you got some pleasure out of this one-off tryst that's somehow a problem.

Well, it made me consider having a romantic relationship with him, maybe marriage - I don't want sex without marriage.

It's very possible, even likely, that these issues about sex being negative are drawing men to you that act in the very way you describe.

I never thought it was negative when I was younger - it just came with the experiences I mentioned above. I did have a lovely dream about my wedding night all through my teen years and even 20's. When I learned that I was at odds with society, I got resentful, hurt a lot...and, not surprisingly, abandoned and passed over by men for girls who would "put out". I came to feel worthless and also angry at all those girls in society who spoiled men with sex so much they won't even get to know me because I won't "put out". So much for my dream of my wedding night.

Could be that your experience (as related in #2) was a good life-lesson, if nothing else. Certainly, there will be men you're attracted to that aren't sexually compatible, and sexually compatible men that don't turn your crank otherwise.

So...does this mean it would be a mistake for me to become involved romantically and more with this guy? He was so different...not selfish or anything like he normally is. The way he was with me that night, that doesn't indicate that he will become more that way, say, loving, caring and gentle, in a full relationship? I mean, since I have been putting him off for like four months...

To draw those people towards you that will have both those sets of qualities, I suggest that you might want to re-frame your thoughts around sex as something to be enjoyed rather than something to be endured.

Well, I thought I had ... I have been working on reframing my thoughts concerning sex, but I haven't thought it was something merely to be endured. I sort of felt like the other two guys just didn't love me, or rather ... well, one loved me until he got horny and then he stopped. When he wasn't horny anymore, he loved me again.

As for the fellow that you're interested in that hasn't made a move yet, it's very possible that he figures you've put him in the "friend zone" and like him as a buddy but not as a romantic partner. Bear in mind that generally guys don't do hints, subtle or overt. Life rewards action. If you want something, or someone, you're best off to go get it rather than wait for the universe to drop it at your feet.

He's not in the friend zone. And there's nothing subtle about my self-expression when I love someone . He's the only guy in my life who's not in the friend zone. He's not near me. Suffice it to say...maybe he has better things to do with his life.