Hi Bliss. First off, welcome to the boards. No need to be embarassed about your question. We're here to help if we can.
From what's written here, you seem to have a lot of unresolved issues about sex. You mentioned that you hated sex, that it turns men into raving beasts, most men where you are are bad and that though you got some pleasure out of this one-off tryst that's somehow a problem.
It's very possible, even likely, that these issues about sex being negative are drawing men to you that act in the very way you describe.
Now, I can't speak for your "daze" experience, as that's something that, frankly, I've never heard of before. That doesn't make it any less real, but since it's something that's completely out of my experience I'm not a good person to comment on it.
Could be that your experience (as related in #2) was a good life-lesson, if nothing else. Certainly, there will be men you're attracted to that aren't sexually compatible, and sexually compatible men that don't turn your crank otherwise.
That's just the nature of the relationship beast. Yea, it can really suck sometimes. (I've recently been through this exact experience, where the intimacy was wonderful but the rest of the relationship left a lot to be desired. Really bummed me out!
)
To draw those people towards you that will have both those sets of qualities, I suggest that you might want to re-frame your thoughts around sex as something to be enjoyed rather than something to be endured.
As for the fellow that you're interested in that hasn't made a move yet, it's very possible that he figures you've put him in the "friend zone" and like him as a buddy but not as a romantic partner. Bear in mind that generally guys don't do hints, subtle or overt. Life rewards action. If you want something, or someone, you're best off to go get it rather than wait for the universe to drop it at your feet.