[twinklestar257]

Hey!
Im a college student and I feel caught between 2 extremes. Last year I used to be a total opposite of a competitive student. I used to put my friends before me, give them my notes, spend hours on the phone with them when they were going through a difficult time (even though I would have had thons of work left to do)… basically I used to really care for them a lot and showed much less care towards myself. I felt good for being there for my friends, however at the end of the year I didn’t quite get the results I wanted to get.

This year, I sort of rebelled totally against my previous self. I ve made myself really competitive. I guess its good that I put myself before others, however sometimes I feel thorn within. I keep comparing all my actions to those of others, I keep trying to make sure that no one is better off than me, I don’t tell my best friend of any tips or helpful advice I might have learned about, like I used to. Basically im going through a conflict within… its like there are 2 voices within me, one is telling me to really help others and the other is telling me that if I help others they will be better than me. However when I act as the ‘competitive person’, I am thorn with strong emotions of guilt.

So what do you guys think? Should I feel guilty about just thinking about myself? Or is it ok and normal? Any suggestions on how to overcome this conflict?

Thanks