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Originally Posted by Angela  It's a problem -- it's how she shows her love. I need to find a way to have her feel like I am fully receiving and accepting her love, and eliminate the middle man (the brownies). |
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Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity} I get that. My bf likes to cook for me...a lot. My waistline shows it. He likes big, hearty (read fattening) meals. Of course they are delicious, but now my pants don't fit! If I decline a big meal, he feels rejected. But it's not him I'm rejecting...it's having to shop for ever increasing sizes of clothing! |
I am utterly guilty of cooking to show love! First thing I do when Slamhot isn't feeling well is go over and cook something that will last for a few days so he doesn't have to mess with cooking!!! He also has to watch his weight because of medical conditions, and for the most part I respect that and cook pretty light.
Now, when I made him that cake for his birthday, I first asked if he wanted something healthy or wanted a full fat/full sugar cake. He wanted the latter. Made the cake, and he loved it. Now, I am guilty of pressuring people to eat. I cut him a large slice. He ate what he wanted, then covered it with plastic wrap and put it in the fridge. He ended up giving away some of the cake, and freezing some more of it.
Early in our relationship, I'd send him home with my leftovers after eating out. The first few times he turned me down and said, "It goes with you or it stays here on the table," it hurt my feelings, but I got over it.
He has every right to protect his health, and his desire to do that has nothing to do with me.
So I guess what it boils down to with me accepting it (and what might work for the people in your life):
1) Tell them why you're doing it.
2) Understand they might be hurt, but they will come around.
Come on! I got over it, and I'm incorrigible!
