I used to think that I deserved good stuff as a reward. Like, I worked hard, so I deserve money. I'm a good guy, so I deserve love. I'm talented, work HARD, hold doors open for people, do my best. I'm doing all the right things. Give me the good stuff! I've built up some credit! I'm cashing out!
But who the hell is NOT deserving of love? Or abundance? Where did this reward system come from? Doesn't it just feel backwards? To me it does, but of course, I lived 97 percent of my life thinking it made perfect sense.
I guess in my life I never felt much self worth, and even though I am kind, considerate, talented, unbelievably handsome, cultured, witty, mesmerizing, humble... (all traits you probably have too) I still didn't feel "worthy" because there weren't enough people approving of me, or giving me permission to be happy, saying "you have earned it".
Now I am realizing, and it's kind of shocking, that my lack of belief in my own, INTRINSIC worth had pushed things away from me. I felt life was a test and if I got enough answers right, I would deserve a reward. Maybe it was my religious upbringing. But it's B.S.
But just being alive, existing, in itself, means you deserve all the good stuff life has to offer. I do not think that you can manifest what you want, if you do not feel deep down that you DESERVE to have the very thing that you want. Lately this has become very real to me, and the recognition that I deserve abundance, has been new but it feels good at the same time. It was a missing element.
Guilt, feelings of not being worthy, of being above or below others, I don't think this is a part of creating an abundant life.
Curious to your thoughts on deserving.
