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Old 11-11-2007, 07:37 AM   #29 (permalink)
Michael Chui
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Quite simple: because sex isn't the foundation of any relationship. It's a supplement, and often a very powerful factor, but after ten, twenty, thirty years...

There's seriously only so much variety, especially in a monogamous relationship.

The reason that sex comes before marriage in today's world isn't because of a need for compatibility. It's because people no longer vilify sex as a necessary evil. So as long as there are no real consequences beyond losing your virginity (which is nil for a male), there's a strong sense of "Why not?" regarding sex, especially since its taboo nature has lifted it up into a kind of veneration.

Beyond that, just about every human being on the planet has a sex drive, and delaying it for marriage is, as cdn2wheeler said, a show of fortitude and character that is worthy of praise. With no reason to bite back on the instinct, people will try it out, and if they like it, go back for more.

But I think you're wrong to say that sex comes before love. It's more accurate, I think, to say that people are more willing to love more people, and that people are more willing to put a stop to the relationship when they stop loving.

Most people are sexually compatible, because the essence of sex is fairly simple, straightforward, and universal. We're all homo sapiens, and we're all built to make more homo sapiens. Two people can be friends and love each other without having sex. Or they can have sex, too.

Your wedding ring doesn't need to have a diamond on it. But it's nice. If two people love each other, they'll love each other despite any sexual incompatibility. Sex, at the end of the day, is really overrated.
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