I'm noticing how I'm creating random things. Things with no purpose.
It's like I'm creating all the time. I used to think everything was a sign, a glimpse of something bigger, but I'm not sure now. It's like if I think "wow, rember that old tv show from a million years ago" someone will walk up to me and bring up that old tv show, from a million years ago.
What does that mean? In itself it has no significance.
At this point I have accepted that when I think of something, I am most likely going to see some sort of reverberation regarding it. Whether it's a major life decision or a song with a really obscure name that just appears in my ears after me thinking of it. I thought there was something larger, pulling me towards it. But if I'm creating 24/7 then I'm just pulling me towards myself.
I want to hear someone's name because it will make me think that person, is thinking of me too. But now I realize, I can hear the name just by asking to hear the name. That by itself is freaky, but it doesn't imply connection with the other person.