You definitely sound like you're depressed. You need to get to a doctor now, before it gets worse. I am extremely skeptical of the advice you're getting to just "decide to feel better," "do the things you love," etc. When I was depressed, I certainly couldn't "decide" to feel better, and the things I used to love held no appeal.
You're also getting a lot of advice that amounts to: "Don't see a doctor, they'll just give you drugs." As far as I can tell, very few of these people have actually taken anti-depressants themselves. I have, so let me tell you my story:
I was depressed throughout college, although, like you, I didn't really think I was. After college, it slowly got worse. Eventually I was spending hours in bed, and it took all the energy I had just to shower, eat, and do a token amount of work. I was crying almost every day, and nothing made me any happier. I wasn't quite suicidal, but I wished I could just stop living, because my life was miserable.
I eventually managed to make an appointment with a psychiatrist, and yes, he gave me drugs. Prozac made me feel jittery and weird, and didn't seem to improve my mood much, either. So I tried Celexa next.
It worked. I'm not depressed. I have the energy to do the things I need to do and the things I want to do... and there are things I want to do, now. In fact, I'm in the process of changing jobs to something that I think I'm going to really love doing. My only regret is that I didn't see a doctor back when I was in college, because I spent years being depressed when I could have been happy.
Learn from my mistake. Find out how your school handles health care, because you're probably covered, and make an appointment with a doctor ASAP.
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