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Originally Posted by wolfgang  Woops - this tread has wandered. |
I don't think so. I think that communication and responsibility are the heart of this issue.
Terumoto, you have been utterly absent, withholding, dishonest, and lacking in integrity regarding Girl #1, and you rationalize that by telling yourself it's be cause she doesn't understand you. Well, it's impossible for her to understand you, because you haven't been straight with her. It's not her; it's
you.
From reading what you've written, I think one of the reasons you haven't been straight with Girl #1 is that you haven't approached yourself with integrity, first and foremost. You think you've been honest, but you've only been partially honest, and that's the same thing as not being honest at all. You must honor what you know is so for yourself, or you dishonor your relationships.
I don't think you want to leave Girl #1 and take your messy approach with you into a relationship with Girl #2, do you? If you don't learn how to be completely straight with yourself, and have integrity, you will just end up creating a similar situation with Girls #2, #3, #4, etc.
This would be a great time for you to come clean with yourself and do what you know is right. Come clean with #2, too. Then you'll be free and unencumbered by fear and doubt, and ready to generate a loving, mutually beneficial relationship with whichever women you choose.
Good luck, and lots of courage to you, Terumoto. (Doesn't that mean "earthquake"? edit: ah, no, it's terramoto that means earthquake. Either way, it's an appropriate name for you!)