Quote:
Originally Posted by JimOfferman  On the difference in communication between girl1 and girl2, I just want to say this: you are solely responsible for making other people understand your words and actions, not the other way around. If someone doesn't understand you, it's up to you to change your way of communicating with him or her. You simply cannot expect someone to know how they should change their understanding of your words to get at your exact message. That would only work if the other person could also read your mind. Most people I know can't do that. |
Terumoto, I have some experience of what you are talking about. While it may be so that "the burden of communication is on the communicator," not everything written above is accurate for application to human communication.
I have extensive experience in communication in several different languages with people from around the world, and in relationships. It is a clear fact to me that certain individuals are innately closer in understanding one another than others, and it's much deeper than simply "being on the same page".
I had an experience where I communicated with one man in English and another in French. French was neither of our native languages. Despite communicating in English, I swear I could never figure out what the guy who spoke English was talking about and he never understood me either. We had one fight after another and I just got fed up and thought he was some kind of idiot at languages in the end, because I couldn't understand how his English and French could be so unfathomably bad (esp as he was a French teacher in his country).
However, the one I spoke French with, no matter how wrong my grammar or vocabulary was, no matter how bad his spelling, we always had an innate understanding, often times without having to finish what we were saying.
Understanding, IMO, is of utmost importance in a relationship. I can speak to another native English-speaker, or someone who speaks English fluently, and articulate in such detail that a 2-year-old could understand what I mean, but the person I'm talking to will have no idea, or he may think he understands, but he gets it wrong.
You are
not responsible for ensuring that your listener have a high enough level of intelligence or life experience, or be enough like you that he or she is capable of understanding you.
You guys already wrote 3 more posts
.
Ok, you took your decision. I think Jim is right otherwise too.