May I offer you a female perspective?
I have often pulled what your gf is pulling. One time, my bf was 30 minutes late for a concert, and I cried. I mean, the main act hadn't even gone on stage yet (and I didn't even like the opening act), and I told him he had ruined my night.
Yes, I do it because I'm needy and insecure. But, underneath it all, I do it because I haven't learned there is a better way. I know it may make absolutely no sense to a guy - but many girls don't know a better alternative. Our neediness makes the guy withdraw, and then we become even more needy. It's a vicious cycle of total miscommunication.
I'm assuming that your gf has a couple of redeeming qualities. She's just not self-aware enough to realize that her behavior is awful. I suggest the following:
- Ask her to put together a fun day of activities. Something besides just hanging out in the house. Tell her that next week, you'll plan the activities. And then just cycle off.
- Sit her down, hug her, and tell her, "I realize you feel really alone when I go out with my guys. So, on those days, why don't you also schedule time with your female friends? We'll make it a mutual "friends only" day."
- What sort of hobbies does she like? Tell her you think it's very attractive when she's busy and passionate about something. Suggest she take a class or something. Women actually enjoy being "mothered" like this. It makes them feel loved.
I know this sounds like a lot of work...but it's easier to make an existing relationship better, than to start a new relationship (which will probably be the same animal, just a different color).
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