Quote:
Originally Posted by JimOfferman  If, on the other hand, you can be understanding of her predicament and trust her to make the right decision in her life, there is a good chance she'll make the best choice for the both of you - whether that is staying with you or breaking up and pursuing this other guy. |
What Jim describes is real love. Trust and freedom!
It sounds like you might still have a chance to make it work, when you go visit in December. If I were you, I would keep my emails as calm as possible till then, no pushing or fighting or pleading; just friendliness and affection. Use the next six weeks to think about what you are committed to creating in the relationship (not what you are committed to HER creating - what you are going to take 100% responsibility for - big difference!). After you arrive in German and have a good rest to get yourself grounded, take her out for a nice dinner and let her know how important the relationship is to you, and what you are committed to creating: peace, great sex, personal growth, etc. - whatever it is.
Ask her if she wants those things too, and if she wants to make a go of it with you. If she is willing, wonderful! Be a man of your word and create what you said you would create. Have integrity. If she says no, she wants to go another way, create those things anyway and let her go with lots of love (which makes possible friendship later). If she says she's still not ready to choose, then you must choose for yourself how long you will wait for her decision -- and tell her. You don't want to place your life on hold indefinitely waiting for her to make up her mind. You also want to be free to create a wonderful loving, mutually beneficial relationship -- hopefully with her, but you are capable of generating with any number of other women if this one chooses otherwise.
Don't worry; you are powerful and you can create what you want. Just keep creating trust and freedom for yourself and for this woman you love.