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Ilya · 11-02-2007, 01:11 PM

I'm not sure that the problem in the original question is with self-esteem. Well, there might be a problem with self-esteem also, but the symptoms seem to point to a rather simple communication problem.

We've had the same with my wife. She loves when I express my feelings for her with words. And I, as a stereotypical man was not very good with expressing my emotions with words.

Then someone has given me the book "The five love languages". I'm mentioning it more than once, but it was that good.
This book has reminded me, that we should communicate in a way that is useful for the one on the receiving end, not in a way that is useful for us. And it is true even for love communication. So I've learned to communicate with words, and not by making presents. And my wife has learned to express her love to me not by words but by touching. And that really improved our marriage.

I'm past any self-esteem problems that plagued me before. But I still prefer to experience the of my wife and I do "get it" best when it comes in a certain way. I won' suffer if it doesn't, but it is so much better if it does.

11-02-2007, 01:11 PM	#18 (permalink)
Ilya Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Moscow, Russia Posts: 452	I'm not sure that the problem in the original question is with self-esteem. Well, there might be a problem with self-esteem also, but the symptoms seem to point to a rather simple communication problem. We've had the same with my wife. She loves when I express my feelings for her with words. And I, as a stereotypical man was not very good with expressing my emotions with words. Then someone has given me the book "The five love languages". I'm mentioning it more than once, but it was that good. This book has reminded me, that we should communicate in a way that is useful for the one on the receiving end, not in a way that is useful for us. And it is true even for love communication. So I've learned to communicate with words, and not by making presents. And my wife has learned to express her love to me not by words but by touching. And that really improved our marriage. I'm past any self-esteem problems that plagued me before. But I still prefer to experience the of my wife and I do "get it" best when it comes in a certain way. I won' suffer if it doesn't, but it is so much better if it does.