[Antoax]

Here is my story (sorry for my English, I am Russian)

We have met each other via Internet 2 years ago. I was 23, she was 19. We had a first date just after a couple of e-mails. We have dated on a regular for about half a year. It was very happy days. We have understood that we really loved each other (she does not like the verb 'love' because it is very simple to say 'i love you' when you don't. she think the real love becomes known through our deals, through how we take care of each other). 6 months later since we have met I have moved to live with her in her home, where she lives with her mother (parents have divorced when she was 10 or so). So I have lived with her for about 14 months. Our relations were stable. We had nice evenings. We spend a lot of time with each other. It was something, you know, when you both lie on a bed, hold each other's hand, and dream of you happy future life.

But we had a problem. I had some experience in relations by the moment we have met. She had not. In fact, I was a first man of her. So, I know there are always little misunderstands in relations. Some little conflicts. So this was the case. I work hard on my self, I hope I am getting better with time, but I am not perfect. I hold a little game development studio. It is always a lot of work to do. She is studying in a university. This is not the same, you know. She expected me to attend to her every day, every hour, every minute. I really think I should have to do so. I should have present her with flowers and little toys more often. There were situations when I was not giving to her as much as she expected. I must say, there was no such a thing in our relations I can complaint about.
I think she is perfect for me. But at the same time I must say that I am not very exacting in relations. Possibly this is because she really made my life to be easy and happy. I love her very much. I think she is the woman of my life. But...

Month ago she has gone to Germany to study in some German university for a half of the year. She speaks German with ease. She loves this country. And she already had a learning tours to Germany before I came in to her life. In Germany there was a guy, and he liked her. I thought this won't be a problem because I was sure about her. We even were planning to got married with each other in the spring of 2008. But a weak ago she sent me an e-mail. She said that she thinks our relations are not ideal because we had a little conflict almost every month and the lack of my consideration was the reason. And she likes this guy to. And she thinks that she can be happier with him. And she said, she still loves me, and she does not know what to do, she needs a time.

It is terrible. I was going to visit her in Germany this December and I still am going. But I feel I am loosing her. I can not take her hand. I can not kiss her in the ear. Because she is there and I am here. (A poem?) I am crying in the evenings when I go to bed alone. I do not know what she is doing right now, whom she is thinking about. I love her so much. I feel such a pain in my heart. I can not sleep. I am dreaming of the time we will be together again. And I don't know should I fight for her love or should I just wait and pray she understand that I am the man of her life. The only available means to fight for here are e-mail, ICQ and my personal visit to Germany on 13-th of December...

What do you think?