champ21, I know what a bugger a depression can be so my thoughts go out to you.
My spontaneus thought about your current situation is that you are acutally going through a grief-process since the breakup. This is a process that occurs after every loss of importance that one experiences - so hang in there and bare with it.
I also find it to be unlikely that you suddenly changed as a person, the one you really are, due to this event. Your self-esteem clearly took a turn for the worst by the withdrawal of her, but you as a person haven't really changed. You are still the same guy underneath all these negative and bad thoughts about yourself.
If theres something I wish somebody told me (assuming I actually listened with my heart) during my depression is that the pain will pass and afterwards you will find yourself. Changed, for sure, but in a good way. You get more humble and when you get yourself back into the life you love you wil know what the other side looks like
So, take action for the depression, and just hang in there. I really believe this will give you a depth to life.
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