Personal Development for Smart People Forums - View Single Post

cdn2wheeler · 11-01-2007, 07:32 PM

Hi Champ and welcome to the boards.

Here's the good news: What you're experiencing is perfectly normal. A loss of a relationship like this is very similar in process to dealing with the death of a loved one, because, in a sense, it really is like a type of death.

People manage these things in different ways, but the classic "7 stages of grief" applies almost universally. (Some distil it down to 5 stages, but the results are the same.)

So you're not crazy, you're not nutso, you're not experiencing anything different than anyone else would in a similar situation.

Now the bad news (yes, there is some; I'm not going to sit here and blow sunshine up yer kilt): If you don't get to the root of the loss and the reasons for your grief, it may get worse and eventually result in clinical depression. That, too, can be treated so it's not as if it's a life sentence or anything, but it will require some action: that is, you'll actually have to do something about it, like see a doctor or mental health professional or something.

That said, I don't think you're there yet, and I don't think you'll need those resources.

I'd send a hug but I don't hug guys. Yea, I'm funny like that. Would you consider a hearty handshake and a few pints instead?

11-01-2007, 07:32 PM	#2 (permalink)
cdn2wheeler Family Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,016	Hi Champ and welcome to the boards. Here's the good news: What you're experiencing is perfectly normal. A loss of a relationship like this is very similar in process to dealing with the death of a loved one, because, in a sense, it really is like a type of death. People manage these things in different ways, but the classic "7 stages of grief" applies almost universally. (Some distil it down to 5 stages, but the results are the same.) So you're not crazy, you're not nutso, you're not experiencing anything different than anyone else would in a similar situation. Now the bad news (yes, there is some; I'm not going to sit here and blow sunshine up yer kilt): If you don't get to the root of the loss and the reasons for your grief, it may get worse and eventually result in clinical depression. That, too, can be treated so it's not as if it's a life sentence or anything, but it will require some action: that is, you'll actually have to do something about it, like see a doctor or mental health professional or something. That said, I don't think you're there yet, and I don't think you'll need those resources. I'd send a hug but I don't hug guys. Yea, I'm funny like that. Would you consider a hearty handshake and a few pints instead?