Hi Lifefirst,
You thought being in the 5th year would be easier, that you would get the hang of it? I'm sorry to disapoint you, but I won't happen if it hasn't already happened. How do I know? Because the same thing has happened to me over and over again. Like cdn2wheeler says, welcome to the club. But the good news is I'm still there, so it's possible to survive that.
I'm the kinda person that get like 19/20 on assignements, and explain all the theories to my friends because I understand it better than them. And then, when the exam comes around, I tend to screw up things. I get in front of exam, I read the question, sometimes it goes well and I have a good grade, but sometimes, let's just says that all rationality gets out of my head, and I write only crap. And then I get 5/20, so around the same thing you got.
It's hard when you worked your ass off, and someone else tells you that based on a sheet of paper you took 2 hours filing, that you're an idiot. But the hardest part is convicing yourself that no, you are NOT an idiot. You just aren't fitting well into the "exam" system. You fit more in the "projects and assignments" system, which is great by the way because the real world works like that when you get a job.
It's easy to put yourself down. A thing I could suggest you, is to get a book about building self-esteem. I don't mean to imply that you don't have any (by being in college and working to get a degree, that shows already that you value yourself and your future a lot), but sometimes I find the exercices in these kind of books help me to get back on track after a hard exam that depresses me, and "unpanic" me so I can focus on what comes next.
And know that talking about it helps. If you can find someone in your entourage you can talk to, it'll help to blow of some steam. Don't kept it bottled up.
Don't give up, you're halfway there, you can hang on for 7 more weeks.
Lifequest
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