I've felt like that many times, even now after so much progress in my life I still regress into the whole "It's not worth it." kind of attitude.
Motivation for me comes from acceptance, but there's really two sorts, the fake one and the real one.
The fake kind of acceptance is where you listen to that little voice in your head that tells you how crap it all is, how life sucks and how nothing can ever get better. This isn't even real, it's just a set of opinions about what is real. Any kind of valued judgement isn't acceptance, it's generating an opinion. This seems like observation but is in fact generating, and the trap is that you generate these opinions and feelings of negativity. Then you trick yourself into believing that they are an observation, and you believe you are just accepting what's true.
True acceptance comes from discovering what's real, and discarding what isn't true. Examples of this might be if you had money problems, which you really don't. The reality is that you have X dollars in the bank, Y dollars in bills and are getting paid Z dollars in W days. X+Z might not be enough to cover Y, and you might have a bigger Y before W days. There's no opinions or views, just a statement of what's so.
Once you have real acceptance, then you have power, and it's that power that rises up which gives you motivation to do what you need to do. You can use this power to make the changes that you want to make where ever you want. Until then though you are mired in created opinions and are trying to deal with them, which aren't even real in the first place. This can leave you feeling stuck and helpless.
Facing what's real can take a lot of courage though. You need to be brave enough to break down your own personal opinions to get to the truth, and as humans we hang onto our opinions for dear life. Except these opinions often keep you away from the truth.
One tricky part about acceptance is feelings and emotions, because they are real, but can be triggered by opinions. They are best used as a sign post to point you towards where to look for the truth.
Just a few midnight thoughts from me, I hope they have helped.  |